It’s 3:11am on Saturday morning and thanks to a crazy, rapidly developed sinus infection I am wide awake. Normally, if I wake up in the middle of the night and don’t fall back to sleep immediately I put my hand somewhere on Jeff (tonight it was directly over his heart) and pray over him. Usually, I fall back to sleep (which is great…what better place to be for rest, but in the presence of the Rest Giver). Tonight, I couldn’t. After praying for Jeff…for all wisdom and knowledge from Lord (Eph. 1:16-18), a heart that is like clay, soft & pliable (Is. 64:8), his spiritual leadership, and a heart for the nations (beginning here at home)…to name just a few…I was still wide awake. Then, my brain started whirling with all the stuff going on right now.
School started a couple of weeks ago and I have a sweet group of students, but it’s been a rough couple of weeks waiting for the logistics of support services to be worked out. It’s funny how some years I feel like I’ve got a handle on the material that I’m teaching and I’m satisfied with what’s happening in my classroom and then other years, like this one, I think a lot about what I can do to improve my teaching and how to help my kids understand our subject matter better. It just goes in cycles.
I’m also already feeling behind in my seminary class for this semester. I had pretty much made up my mind (after being so excited to have finally scored a “seat” in the online Systematic Theology I course that I have sought for several semesters now) to drop the class and not take a class this semester because of some unexpected, unsought for, extra responsibilities for school. I got online Tuesday night to drop my course only to realize that I didn’t want to drop my course. That even with all the reading, endless lectures on DVDs, reading quizzes, and papers I was excited about Scripture meditation being a grade and learning more about the glorious truths that we base our salvation, our seeking, and His glory on. So, the past couple of days, I’ve been scurrying around trying to acquire the required texts, pay my tuition, and beginning to read some of the only textbook that I have (which, by the way, has over 1225 pages in it – not a typo, promise).
Jeff has also had some busy weekends this month which leaves me a little bummed. During the week, I’m always so mentally exhausted when I come home from school that I don’t really feel capable of whole lot of quality communication (after all, I just spent ALL DAY talking and being constantly surrounded by people – them waiting for my cues and my leadership). On the weekends, I just want to hang with him and have some quality time with him – focused on him and not the business of our lives. He’s been busy working extra time for his job, plus volunteering at church. Both of those things are necessary, but time consuming none the less. I know my seminary class will take up a lot of that time now. Hopefully, it will help with the frustration of feeling left behind.
Also, over the past couple of months, I have been a little lost with the transition to a new church.
I haven’t really felt like I’ve been able to plug into a ministry or really that there were many to choose from.
I’m used to there being almost TOO MANY ministry opportunities to choose from to a few.
I “auditioned” for the worship team at church this week and was “accepted”.
I’ll start going to practices over the next couple of weeks to familiarize myself with the way things go in preparing for a worship service.
I am praying that this helps me build more relationship in the Body where we’re at, plus meet my need to serve, and also to use the talents/gifts the Lord has given me to glorify Him.
One final thought, and then I’m going to attempt to grab some more sleep on this Saturday morning. Everyone keeps asking me, “how’s married life?” some with cynical tones and some genuinely curious. To sum it up, I am terribly spoiled. I never thought I would want or even let someone completely take care of me. I mean, seriously, I can change my own oil, who needs a guy to do anything for me?? :) I have learned that letting Jeff take care of me makes him feel loved, plus it’s such a sweet grace gift from our Father to have a husband who wants to make sure I am provided for (all my needs and most of my wants). I feel provided for and cherished…treasured. And I think that’s the way the Lord intended it to be. If I had married earlier in my life, I think I would have not let my husband be the leader in our family because I would have felt the need to control our relationship and our home (which is not the way the Lord intended it). So, once again, I am convinced our of God’s perfect timing in what He makes all things beautiful. (Ecc. 3:11)
Pray for us in the area of time management, undivided hearts for the Lord (Ps. 86:11), and new seasons of ministry...plus relief from this pesky sinus issue. Thanks for letting me share my heart (and some of my whirling thoughts) with you on this early Saturday morning.
